1. I'd have a name like Sephiroth or Noober… or Sephiroth.
2. Every time I woke up with a hangover and realized I had no money left, I could just go outside and kill a bunch of monsters (in randomly-generated encounters) until I have like 1500 gold again. Then I'd go drink more.
3. Every time I died I could just have my party members bring me to a priest who would resurrect me for a nominal fee. In real life, every time I die, I'm mostly just dead.
4. Every time a cop was like, “Hey, you were going a little fast!” I could be like, “Hey, I'm going to chop your face with this sword!” And then I'd totally do it.
5. If I ever got in a fight with some really tough badass dude, it'd be a lot less stressful and scary in turn-based mode. Plus I could always choose to flee.
6. After high school, I could have spent five years wandering the countryside, building up my experience points by fighting slimes and lesser dragons instead of spending it at college, pursuing a useless writing degree which I would ultimately use to write asinine online articles about why I wish my life was an RPG.
7. People wouldn't care if you barged into their house and dug around in their stuff trying to find potions and gold to steal.
8. I would totally save on my heating bill by using fire spells.
9. I could walk across the continent in like ten or fifteen minutes, depending on the number of randomly-generated monster battles I had to attend to.
10. I would have a sweet job saving the world from imminent destruction and I probably wouldn't be working 60 hour weeks at an insurance company's call center.
2. Every time I woke up with a hangover and realized I had no money left, I could just go outside and kill a bunch of monsters (in randomly-generated encounters) until I have like 1500 gold again. Then I'd go drink more.
3. Every time I died I could just have my party members bring me to a priest who would resurrect me for a nominal fee. In real life, every time I die, I'm mostly just dead.
4. Every time a cop was like, “Hey, you were going a little fast!” I could be like, “Hey, I'm going to chop your face with this sword!” And then I'd totally do it.
5. If I ever got in a fight with some really tough badass dude, it'd be a lot less stressful and scary in turn-based mode. Plus I could always choose to flee.
6. After high school, I could have spent five years wandering the countryside, building up my experience points by fighting slimes and lesser dragons instead of spending it at college, pursuing a useless writing degree which I would ultimately use to write asinine online articles about why I wish my life was an RPG.
7. People wouldn't care if you barged into their house and dug around in their stuff trying to find potions and gold to steal.
8. I would totally save on my heating bill by using fire spells.
9. I could walk across the continent in like ten or fifteen minutes, depending on the number of randomly-generated monster battles I had to attend to.
10. I would have a sweet job saving the world from imminent destruction and I probably wouldn't be working 60 hour weeks at an insurance company's call center.
