Family Fortune Answers - Very Funny

Fullmoon

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Something you mount: "A mountain.."
Something you lose when you get older: "Your purse.."
A type of bean: "Lesbian.."
Something you would play with in the bath: "A bazooka.."
Someone you wouldn't swear in front of: "Yourself.."
A country where Arabic is spoken: "Nigeria.."
Someone or something whose existence has never been proven: "Hitler.."
A number you might have to memorise: "Seven.."
Something that makes you close your eyes: "Dark.."
Something that comes in pairs: "Rabbits.."
A way of toasting someone: "Over a fire.."
A Boy's name beginning with the letter J: "Gerald.."
An instrument you can play while walking in the street: "A cello.."
A type of oil: "Sewing-machine oil.."
A word beginning with Z: "Xylophone.."
A medieval weapon: "Hand-grenade.."
Something made of wool: "A sheep.."
Something a bridegroom might wear: "A dress.."
Someone you wouldn't expect to see in a strip club: "Animals.."
An animal with a long tail: "A rabbit.."
Something a train-spotter would have in his pocket: "A magnifying glass.."
Something you put out for the birds: "Worms.."
A way to prevent snoring: "Put a pillow over his face.."
A word used to describe a very hot day: "A very hot day.."
Someone who works early hours: "A burglar.."
Something made to be wheeled around: "A hammer.."
A reason for kneeling: "To be beheaded.."
A nickname for a slim person: "Slimmy.."
Something that's nice to wear next to your skin: "Pants.."
A wild animal that's native to Britain: "A bear.."
Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house: "Feeds your pets.."
Something that comes in 7's: "Fingers.."
A vocalist known by only one name: "Michael Jackson.."
A yellow fruit: "Orange.."
A boy mentioned in a nursery rhyme: "Little Red Riding Hood.."
Something associated with Queen Victoria: "Her husbands.."
Something you hide in your socks when you go swimming: "Your legs.."
A place you would keep a pen: "A zoo.."
Something associated with rain: "Water.."
An animal that lives in the English countryside: "A lion.."
A popular TV soap: "Dove.."
Other than 'carrier', a type of bag: "Horse.."
Something you might find in a garage: "a grand piano.."
Something a Frenchman would say: "On Garde.."
A fast animal: "A hippo.."
Something you keep in the garden: "A cat.."
Something that gives you goosebumps: "Mumps.."
Something that has a shell: "Batman.."
Something a policeman might say: "Spread 'em.."
Something that frightens Dracula: "The King of the Vampires.."
A non-living object with legs: "A plant.."
A sign of the Zodiac: "April.."
An animal associated with a nursery rhyme: "Andy Pandy.."
A mode of transport that you can walk in: "Your shoes.."
An animal with big ears: "A bear.."
Something you do on water: "Wallpaper.."
A musical instrument you can play in the bath: "A drum kit.."
An animal used as a form of transport: "A turtle.."
A habit people try to give up: "Spitting.."
A Thunderbirds character: "Doctor Spock.."
Another TV gameshow with the word 'family' in the title: "The Generation Game.."
Something you open other than a door: "Your bowels.."
Something with a red light on it: "a Dalek.."
A food than can easily be eaten without chewing: "Chips.."
A type of record: "A floppy disk.."
A type of large cat: "Persian.."
A job that a working dog does: "A slave.."
An occupation where you need a torch: "A burglar.."
A well known superstition: "Running in front of a car.."
Something you use a microchip in: "A fish-fryer.."
A dangerous race: "The Arabs.."
A game played in the dark: "Charades.."
Some famous brothers: "Bonnie and Clyde.."
A part of the body you have more than two of: "Arms.."
Something you find on a fire engine: "Coal.."
A famous royal: "Mail.."
Something you do before going to bed: "Sleep.."
An item of clothing worn by the Three Muskateers: "A horse.."
An animal you see at the zoo: "Dog.."
Something you might do in a power cut: "Read a book.."
The first place detectives look for fingerprints: "The floor.."
Something you associate with the sea: "A coffin.."
A famous Arthur: "Shakespeare.."
A reason someone digs a hole in the road: "Grave digger.."
An ingredient in chicken stuffing: "Chicken.."
Something a girl should know about a man before marrying him: "His name.."
A bird with a long neck: "A blackbird.."
A bird with a long neck (2): "Naomi Campbell.."
An item of clothing a woman might borrow from a man: "Underpants.."
Something taken from a hotel as a souvenir: "The lamps.."
Something you keep in a garden shed: "A gardener.."
Fruit used in fruit salad: "Cucumber.."
Something you wear on the beach: "A deckchair.."
A part of the body beginning with N: "Knee.."
Something red: "My cardigan.."
Something with a hole in it: "A window.."
Something you put on walls: "Roofs.."
Something that floats in the bath: "Water.."
The last thing you take off before going to bed: "Your feet.."
Something that flies without an engine: "A bicycle with wings.."
 
I have one;

Something that frightens Dracula: Sparkling Vampires.
 
The Grinch said:
FPMSL that is absolutely class.

Glad you like them. They got sent round at work by email. Everyone was in hysterics! 😛 I'll post some more if I find some goodun's
 
Couldnt find anymore more family fortune ones, but here are some weakest link ones:

When commuters travel on crowded trains they are frequently said to be packed in like what fish?..... Eels

What North African country beginning with the letter L has a plain green flag? ...... Lithuania

Apart from Earth which planet in our solar system begins with a vowel? ..... Pluto

In hairdressing a tuft of hair which persistently sticks up is called a 'cow...' what? ......... Horn

When spoken by a German, which letter does the letter W sound like ? ......... H.

What do tigers have, spots or stripes? ....... A tiger.

What sport do you play on grass with rackets? ......... Cricket.

What insect has many limbs, although the name would suggest that it has one hundred? ....... A giraffe.

What word, meaning devil, is an anagram of the word 'Santa' ? ............... Anstas.

The word 'knowledgeable' begins with which letter? .............. (long pause) ........ N

Which popular hot drink is an anagram of the word 'eat' ? ............ Chocolate.

What F is a pink African wading bird? .............. Albatross.

Immanuel Kant is best remembered as a footballer or philosopher? ............... Footballer.

The Anglo-Saxon King who deposed William the Conquerer was 'Hereward the..' what? ............ Horrible.
 
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