I have this member who is known to lie, and yeah, he's continuing to do it. Newbies believe his lies, of course, because they don't know better. At what point do you call that person out publicly? Or do you just get rid of the guy all together?
Believing known liars on your forum?
- Thread starter Katrina
- Start date
Argue with them for a little bit, and lay some traps specifically for them. I just had this recently.
I banned the user, because he tripped the wire. I told him to stop, it was a subtle warning. It was so stupid. When I say something, YOU BEST LISTEN to me! (Not you specifically, but in general if you're on my board.)
So, before that ban, I sent him a rude warning. If you do this again, you're gone.
But don't make it about the lying. Make it about something else you don't like about the person. Especially if it relates to the forum rules. 😉
I banned the user, because he tripped the wire. I told him to stop, it was a subtle warning. It was so stupid. When I say something, YOU BEST LISTEN to me! (Not you specifically, but in general if you're on my board.)
So, before that ban, I sent him a rude warning. If you do this again, you're gone.
But don't make it about the lying. Make it about something else you don't like about the person. Especially if it relates to the forum rules. 😉
It has to be public, you need to make an example of that person. It works. Especially if you have influence. Its not about admin power or mod power, its about...
Let me put it this way, if you've been a member of that board for YEARS, and everyone knows you mean business when you say "stop." It means... STOP. If you say something political, people stop and listens. If you say something that is out of the ordinary, people stop and listen. Why? Because you have influence.
So, do it publicly, and subtly let people know this shit is NOT TOLERATED. Especially in the offending thread.
Let me put it this way, if you've been a member of that board for YEARS, and everyone knows you mean business when you say "stop." It means... STOP. If you say something political, people stop and listens. If you say something that is out of the ordinary, people stop and listen. Why? Because you have influence.
So, do it publicly, and subtly let people know this shit is NOT TOLERATED. Especially in the offending thread.
Unfortunately, people will stoop low enough to spread lies about a community or others for their gain. I would call them out on it and get as much evidence as I could to prove what I know is true and then call them out on it.
A lot of the time, people like this tend to do what they do because they know they can get away with it, they never plan for when someone makes it a point to out them and that is usually where you catch them out.
Only so much you can remember saying or doing before things start to not align anymore and the lies start to come out.
A lot of the time, people like this tend to do what they do because they know they can get away with it, they never plan for when someone makes it a point to out them and that is usually where you catch them out.
Only so much you can remember saying or doing before things start to not align anymore and the lies start to come out.
I've never knowingly encountered anyone of that description on any of my forums but my partner used to work with a fantasist. I clocked him after the first week just from the stories I was hearing but I think it took the rest of my partner's office a little longer to realize that his life story was simply impossible.
I said if anyone challenged him he'll probably say he's working undercover for the security services and can't say anymore which was exactly what happened and that was the last anyone ever saw of him. He never came back to the office.
I said if anyone challenged him he'll probably say he's working undercover for the security services and can't say anymore which was exactly what happened and that was the last anyone ever saw of him. He never came back to the office.
I have a problem with that cause I tend to accept a lot of forum jobs without thinking it thru, needing quick money or results. I hope it not me, lol.
I'm trying to quit doing that. The big problem is a huge pressure for money cause I need to get myself off the ground in a career and I got a wife and kids to support.
I'm trying to quit doing that. The big problem is a huge pressure for money cause I need to get myself off the ground in a career and I got a wife and kids to support.
Debating with a troll is pointless. Some of them try to manipulate or use some kind of defense to avoid being held accountable. When they complain or criticize me, I often just tell them that the warning is set in stone, that they need to improve their behavior, and that we're no longer debating the issue. That seems to work just fine when dealing with them.
The whole troll thing can be subjective, though. Often people call are called trolls cause the majority on the forum disagrees with their politics or something.
I've heard of cases like that happening. Some people don't fit in.
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Sometimes people will try to play nice guy to stay in your favour while lying and exaggerating to get sympathy. Sometimes people will lie just to create drama for their own amusement. Some others have beef with you and want to lower your reputation. I feel like different lies might merit different ways of handling.
I've had harmless liars in the past that mostly wanted to claim the forum attention to themselves with threads about their lives and all the exciting good and bad stuff happening to them. After some time it felt like we as a community were all in the know but because otherwise the person was not really causing trouble we let them keep the journal thread and the hijacked ones they often used and the community seemed to mostly reward this person with attention only when they interacted beyond the self-talk tales. So back then I didn't have to step up as the community pretty much steered this person with their reactions.
Personally, I wouldn't call out publicly straight away until I am sure it is not bait and I have the receipts, so to speak. If you try to get down with someone that has a lot more experience than you in that kind of thing, they will be the ones playing you. It is kind of a lose-lose whether you decide to confront them in public or privately because they will most likely use it against you. So the best thing is to go with the idea that they will try to cause an emotional reaction and your mission is not to answer everything they ask or comment, you just have to stick to the facts and the ultimatum. You dictate the conversation.
Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and stand your ground even if doing that supports their claims on your persona. Warn them with an ultimatum and stick to it!! It sucks but we have to accept that some of the other members believe them and will take this person side. It can take time before they too realize they were deceived and that there is probably more than what they heard at the time, some will never realize. If we keep doing nothing because we are afraid they will believe them even more then the community will suffer for it. So it is best to accept it and act up when something is affecting the community.
I've had harmless liars in the past that mostly wanted to claim the forum attention to themselves with threads about their lives and all the exciting good and bad stuff happening to them. After some time it felt like we as a community were all in the know but because otherwise the person was not really causing trouble we let them keep the journal thread and the hijacked ones they often used and the community seemed to mostly reward this person with attention only when they interacted beyond the self-talk tales. So back then I didn't have to step up as the community pretty much steered this person with their reactions.
I am still learning to trust my gut more in this kind of thing. As much as I like to give a person the benefit of the doubt, if they are making me to even consider kicking them out, then it is definitely time to step in.
Personally, I wouldn't call out publicly straight away until I am sure it is not bait and I have the receipts, so to speak. If you try to get down with someone that has a lot more experience than you in that kind of thing, they will be the ones playing you. It is kind of a lose-lose whether you decide to confront them in public or privately because they will most likely use it against you. So the best thing is to go with the idea that they will try to cause an emotional reaction and your mission is not to answer everything they ask or comment, you just have to stick to the facts and the ultimatum. You dictate the conversation.
Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and stand your ground even if doing that supports their claims on your persona. Warn them with an ultimatum and stick to it!! It sucks but we have to accept that some of the other members believe them and will take this person side. It can take time before they too realize they were deceived and that there is probably more than what they heard at the time, some will never realize. If we keep doing nothing because we are afraid they will believe them even more then the community will suffer for it. So it is best to accept it and act up when something is affecting the community.
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