netsavy006
Seasoned Veteran
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
-------
Okay.
So there's a blonde a brunette and a red head as always. And they're up on the roof of a house surrounded by fire. The house can cave in any second, and the firemen are on another call. There is no escape, except for some heroic neighbors appear holding a blanket and shout up to the group, "Jump! Jump!"
The brunette thinks about this and goes, "You know, the roof can cave in any minute and we don't know when the firemen will get here, so I'm going to jump." So she jumps but the neighbors purposely move and she hits the ground and dies.
"Jump! Jump!" they call up.
The red head sighs and thinks that she has a better chance jumping then staying up on the roof, so she decides to trust the neighbors and jumps. Again they purposely move out of the way and the red head hits the ground and dies.
"Jump! Jump!" they call to the blonde.
Now, the blonde has seen the neighbors do the same thing twice. So she thinks really hard about this and finally she nods and calls down to the neighbors, "I'm going to jump, but first, put the blanket down."
-------
So a blonde guy, a mexican guy and an asian guy are all working construction together. And they all sit on a landing and eat their lunches together. Well, the mexican guy opens his lunch box and sees tacos and says, "If I have to eat tacos one more time, I'm going to commit suicide." Then the asian guy opens his and sees sushi and says, "If I have to eat sushi one more time, I'm going to commit suicide." Then the blonde guy opens his lunch, sees a PBJ sandwich and says, "if I have to eat a PBJ sandwish one more time, I'm going to commit suicide."
So the next day, the mexican guy opens his lunch box, sees a taco and jumps off of the building in the making and dies. Then the asian guy opens his lunch box and sees sushi in it, so he too jumps off the landing and dies. The blonde guy opens his lunch box, sees a PBJ sandwich so he jumps off of the building and dies.
They all have the funeral together. And the mexican guy's wife is bawling and saying, "if only I had known he didn't like tacos then I wouldn't have packed that for him!" The asian wife wraps her arms around her and says, "if only I had known he didn't like sushi, then I wouldn't have packed that for him!" So they're sitting there crying and look at the blonde guy's wife. She shrugs, "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
-------
Okay.
So there's a blonde a brunette and a red head as always. And they're up on the roof of a house surrounded by fire. The house can cave in any second, and the firemen are on another call. There is no escape, except for some heroic neighbors appear holding a blanket and shout up to the group, "Jump! Jump!"
The brunette thinks about this and goes, "You know, the roof can cave in any minute and we don't know when the firemen will get here, so I'm going to jump." So she jumps but the neighbors purposely move and she hits the ground and dies.
"Jump! Jump!" they call up.
The red head sighs and thinks that she has a better chance jumping then staying up on the roof, so she decides to trust the neighbors and jumps. Again they purposely move out of the way and the red head hits the ground and dies.
"Jump! Jump!" they call to the blonde.
Now, the blonde has seen the neighbors do the same thing twice. So she thinks really hard about this and finally she nods and calls down to the neighbors, "I'm going to jump, but first, put the blanket down."
-------
So a blonde guy, a mexican guy and an asian guy are all working construction together. And they all sit on a landing and eat their lunches together. Well, the mexican guy opens his lunch box and sees tacos and says, "If I have to eat tacos one more time, I'm going to commit suicide." Then the asian guy opens his and sees sushi and says, "If I have to eat sushi one more time, I'm going to commit suicide." Then the blonde guy opens his lunch, sees a PBJ sandwich and says, "if I have to eat a PBJ sandwish one more time, I'm going to commit suicide."
So the next day, the mexican guy opens his lunch box, sees a taco and jumps off of the building in the making and dies. Then the asian guy opens his lunch box and sees sushi in it, so he too jumps off the landing and dies. The blonde guy opens his lunch box, sees a PBJ sandwich so he jumps off of the building and dies.
They all have the funeral together. And the mexican guy's wife is bawling and saying, "if only I had known he didn't like tacos then I wouldn't have packed that for him!" The asian wife wraps her arms around her and says, "if only I had known he didn't like sushi, then I wouldn't have packed that for him!" So they're sitting there crying and look at the blonde guy's wife. She shrugs, "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."
