Found this on a site for the company I work for 😛
OPERATOR: "RIDGE HALL, COMPUTER ASSISTANCE; MAY I HELP YOU?"
CALLER: "YES, WELL, I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH WORDPERFECT."
OPERATOR: "WHAT SORT OF TROUBLE??"
CALLER: "WELL, I WAS JUST TYPING ALONG, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THE WORDS WENT AWAY."
OPERATOR: "WENT AWAY?"
CALLER: "THEY DISAPPEARED."
OPERATOR: "HMM SO WHAT DOES YOUR SCREEN LOOK LIKE NOW?"
CALLER: "NOTHING."
OPERATOR: "NOTHING??"
CALLER: "IT'S BLANK; IT WON'T ACCEPT ANYTHING WHEN I TYPE."
OPERATOR: "ARE YOU STILL IN WORDPERFECT, OR DID YOU GET OUT??"
CALLER: "HOW DO I TELL?"
OPERATOR: "CAN YOU SEE THE C: PROMPT ON THE SCREEN??"
CALLER: "WHAT'S A SEA-PROMPT?"
OPERATOR: "NEVER MIND, CAN YOU MOVE YOUR CURSOR AROUND THE SCREEN?"
CALLER: "THERE ISN'T ANY CURSOR: I TOLD YOU, IT WON'T ACCEPT ANYTHING I TYPE."
OPERATOR: "DOES YOUR MONITOR HAVE A POWER INDICATOR??"
CALLER: "WHAT'S A MONITOR?"
OPERATOR: "IT'S THE THING WITH THE SCREEN ON IT THAT LOOKS LIKE A TV. DOES IT HAVE A LITTLE LIGHT THAT TELLS YOU WHEN IT'S ON??"
CALLER: "I DON'T KNOW."
OPERATOR: "WELL, THEN LOOK ON THE BACK OF THE MONITOR AND FIND WHERE THE POWER CORD GOES INTO IT. CAN YOU SEE THAT??"
CALLER: "YES, I THINK SO."
OPERATOR: "GREAT. FOLLOW THE CORD TO THE PLUG, AND TELL ME IF IT'S PLUGGED INTO THE WALL.
CALLER: "YES, IT IS."
OPERATOR: "WHEN YOU WERE BEHIND THE MONITOR, DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WERE TWO CABLES PLUGGED INTO THE BACK OF IT, NOT JUST ONE??"
CALLER: "NO."
OPERATOR: "WELL, THERE ARE. I NEED YOU TO LOOK BACK THERE AGAIN AND FIND THE OTHER CABLE.."
CALLER: "OKAY, HERE IT IS."
OPERATOR: "FOLLOW IT FOR ME, AND TELL ME IF IT'S PLUGGED SECURELY INTO THE BACK OF YOUR COMPUTER."
CALLER: "I CAN'T REACH."
OPERATOR: "UH HUH. WELL, CAN YOU SEE IF IT IS??"
CALLER: "NO."
OPERATOR: "EVEN IF YOU MAYBE PUT YOUR KNEE ON SOMETHING AND LEAN WAY OVER??"
CALLER: "OH, IT'S NOT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT ANGLE - IT'S BECAUSE IT'S DARK."
OPERATOR: "DARK??"
CALLER: "YES - THE OFFICE LIGHT IS OFF, AND THE ONLY LIGHT I HAVE IS COMING IN FROM THE WINDOW.
" OPERATOR: "WELL, TURN ON THE OFFICE LIGHT THEN."
CALLER: "I CAN'T."
OPERATOR: "NO? WHY NOT??"
CALLER: "BECAUSE THERE'S A POWER FAILURE."
OPERATOR: "A POWER......... A POWER FAILURE? AHA, OKAY, WE'VE GOT IT LICKED NOW.
DO YOU STILL HAVE THE BOXES AND MANUALS AND PACKING STUFF YOUR COMPUTER CAME IN??"
CALLER: "WELL, YES, I KEEP THEM IN THE CLOSET."
OPERATOR: "GOOD. GO GET THEM, AND UNPLUG YOUR SYSTEM AND PACK IT UP JUST LIKE IT WAS WHEN YOU GOT IT. THEN TAKE IT BACK TO THE STORE YOU BOUGHT IT FROM."
CALLER: "REALLY? IS IT THAT BAD?"
OPERATOR: "YES, I'M AFRAID IT IS."
CALLER: "WELL, ALL RIGHT THEN, I SUPPOSE. WHAT DO I TELL THEM??"
OPERATOR: "TELL THEM YOU'RE TOO F --- ING STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!!!!!"
OPERATOR: "RIDGE HALL, COMPUTER ASSISTANCE; MAY I HELP YOU?"
CALLER: "YES, WELL, I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH WORDPERFECT."
OPERATOR: "WHAT SORT OF TROUBLE??"
CALLER: "WELL, I WAS JUST TYPING ALONG, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THE WORDS WENT AWAY."
OPERATOR: "WENT AWAY?"
CALLER: "THEY DISAPPEARED."
OPERATOR: "HMM SO WHAT DOES YOUR SCREEN LOOK LIKE NOW?"
CALLER: "NOTHING."
OPERATOR: "NOTHING??"
CALLER: "IT'S BLANK; IT WON'T ACCEPT ANYTHING WHEN I TYPE."
OPERATOR: "ARE YOU STILL IN WORDPERFECT, OR DID YOU GET OUT??"
CALLER: "HOW DO I TELL?"
OPERATOR: "CAN YOU SEE THE C: PROMPT ON THE SCREEN??"
CALLER: "WHAT'S A SEA-PROMPT?"
OPERATOR: "NEVER MIND, CAN YOU MOVE YOUR CURSOR AROUND THE SCREEN?"
CALLER: "THERE ISN'T ANY CURSOR: I TOLD YOU, IT WON'T ACCEPT ANYTHING I TYPE."
OPERATOR: "DOES YOUR MONITOR HAVE A POWER INDICATOR??"
CALLER: "WHAT'S A MONITOR?"
OPERATOR: "IT'S THE THING WITH THE SCREEN ON IT THAT LOOKS LIKE A TV. DOES IT HAVE A LITTLE LIGHT THAT TELLS YOU WHEN IT'S ON??"
CALLER: "I DON'T KNOW."
OPERATOR: "WELL, THEN LOOK ON THE BACK OF THE MONITOR AND FIND WHERE THE POWER CORD GOES INTO IT. CAN YOU SEE THAT??"
CALLER: "YES, I THINK SO."
OPERATOR: "GREAT. FOLLOW THE CORD TO THE PLUG, AND TELL ME IF IT'S PLUGGED INTO THE WALL.
CALLER: "YES, IT IS."
OPERATOR: "WHEN YOU WERE BEHIND THE MONITOR, DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WERE TWO CABLES PLUGGED INTO THE BACK OF IT, NOT JUST ONE??"
CALLER: "NO."
OPERATOR: "WELL, THERE ARE. I NEED YOU TO LOOK BACK THERE AGAIN AND FIND THE OTHER CABLE.."
CALLER: "OKAY, HERE IT IS."
OPERATOR: "FOLLOW IT FOR ME, AND TELL ME IF IT'S PLUGGED SECURELY INTO THE BACK OF YOUR COMPUTER."
CALLER: "I CAN'T REACH."
OPERATOR: "UH HUH. WELL, CAN YOU SEE IF IT IS??"
CALLER: "NO."
OPERATOR: "EVEN IF YOU MAYBE PUT YOUR KNEE ON SOMETHING AND LEAN WAY OVER??"
CALLER: "OH, IT'S NOT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT ANGLE - IT'S BECAUSE IT'S DARK."
OPERATOR: "DARK??"
CALLER: "YES - THE OFFICE LIGHT IS OFF, AND THE ONLY LIGHT I HAVE IS COMING IN FROM THE WINDOW.
" OPERATOR: "WELL, TURN ON THE OFFICE LIGHT THEN."
CALLER: "I CAN'T."
OPERATOR: "NO? WHY NOT??"
CALLER: "BECAUSE THERE'S A POWER FAILURE."
OPERATOR: "A POWER......... A POWER FAILURE? AHA, OKAY, WE'VE GOT IT LICKED NOW.
DO YOU STILL HAVE THE BOXES AND MANUALS AND PACKING STUFF YOUR COMPUTER CAME IN??"
CALLER: "WELL, YES, I KEEP THEM IN THE CLOSET."
OPERATOR: "GOOD. GO GET THEM, AND UNPLUG YOUR SYSTEM AND PACK IT UP JUST LIKE IT WAS WHEN YOU GOT IT. THEN TAKE IT BACK TO THE STORE YOU BOUGHT IT FROM."
CALLER: "REALLY? IS IT THAT BAD?"
OPERATOR: "YES, I'M AFRAID IT IS."
CALLER: "WELL, ALL RIGHT THEN, I SUPPOSE. WHAT DO I TELL THEM??"
OPERATOR: "TELL THEM YOU'RE TOO F --- ING STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!!!!!"
