Chuck Norris

[Dark Explorer]

Share your Chuck Norris jokes!

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous cobra. After five days of excuciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow!

 

[PcGuy]

I dont know to many but here is one

Chuck norris isnt afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of chuck norris

 

[Dark Explorer]

Oh, there's loads.

Every night before going to bed, the Boggey Man checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

[Jaosals]

I saw this once on a picture as a subtitle.

"Death once had a near Chuck Norris-Experience"

 

[Trav]

Chuck Norris does believe it's not butter.

 

[M ii K e]

Jesus could walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

 

[Dark Explorer]

That last one's amazing 😛 I almost got kicked out of the library for laughter

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect4 in three moves.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits...

 

[MastaScribe]

Is overrated...

Sry, just had to say that

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make him drink.

Chuck Norris can make a cow go down stares.

 

[Mr. Money]

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

 

[Nuke]

Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't die. He teleports to another solar system with life and tells the star there to go out, because it's messing with his mojo.