Is it better to just verbally warn or suggest to a forum member how they should change their behavior, rather than giving points off that are public? Maybe for a first offense on something, this would be a better idea than cracking down on what could have been an accident or 'heat of the moment' situation. Maybe warnings or points off could lead to injured feelings and cause a very enthusiastic forum member to withdraw their support for the forum, become publicly sullen or spiteful or even quit. Has this ever happened on your forum, where you had to discipline a member and it turned nasty afterward on their part? Do you wish you had handled the situation differently?
Do forum warnings lead to injured feelings?
- Thread starter Beverly
- Start date
I think that any official warnings staff give out should be done privately.
I mean giving an official warning to someone publicly is, more often than not, asking for trouble. People very often don't take kindly to public warnings. It's somewhat humiliating and as a result they are more likely to react negatively. Or they may react a lot stronger than they would otherwise react.
This doesn't mean you can't reply to a topic with a reply like:
"This topic is getting a bit heated... Keep your replies civil. And just to be clear, it is not acceptable to launch personal attacks against others who have a different viewpoint."
Just so long as you aren't picking on one person or warning them.
In terms of whether warnings lead to hurt feelings... Sometimes it doesn't matter how you warn someone, their feelings are going to get hurt regardless. Some people are just extremely sensitive. To make matters worse sometimes those who are extremely sensitive are also the worst offenders when it comes to dishing out abuse.
We've had a case where we warned someone privately and they still turned nasty. They thought everyone on the site loved them and their antics. They thought that because we liked them that we would let them do whatever they wanted and that the rules were optional for them. And it was quite a shock when they found out that they weren't immune. After they got warned they threw a fit and ended up trying to ruin the site. (Telling people not to join and etc...)
I mean giving an official warning to someone publicly is, more often than not, asking for trouble. People very often don't take kindly to public warnings. It's somewhat humiliating and as a result they are more likely to react negatively. Or they may react a lot stronger than they would otherwise react.
This doesn't mean you can't reply to a topic with a reply like:
"This topic is getting a bit heated... Keep your replies civil. And just to be clear, it is not acceptable to launch personal attacks against others who have a different viewpoint."
Just so long as you aren't picking on one person or warning them.
In terms of whether warnings lead to hurt feelings... Sometimes it doesn't matter how you warn someone, their feelings are going to get hurt regardless. Some people are just extremely sensitive. To make matters worse sometimes those who are extremely sensitive are also the worst offenders when it comes to dishing out abuse.
We've had a case where we warned someone privately and they still turned nasty. They thought everyone on the site loved them and their antics. They thought that because we liked them that we would let them do whatever they wanted and that the rules were optional for them. And it was quite a shock when they found out that they weren't immune. After they got warned they threw a fit and ended up trying to ruin the site. (Telling people not to join and etc...)
You know, I've wondered this myself from time to time. I'm erie when messaging warnings to people and very careful how I word them. Because it is in plain text and not vocalized, usually people take the printed word the wrong way. Inevitably this makes people feel bad causing hurt feelings all because of a misunderstanding.
I typically don't issue warnings...
If the offense doesn't warrant an actual ban, then I usually just send a friendly PM asking that the member not do whatever it is that they shouldn't be doing.
I find that approach to be a lot more positive and friendlier than issuing an actual official warning.
If the offense doesn't warrant an actual ban, then I usually just send a friendly PM asking that the member not do whatever it is that they shouldn't be doing.
I find that approach to be a lot more positive and friendlier than issuing an actual official warning.
theezy said:
Interesting approach. I never thought of doing it like that. If that is the case, then how do you decide to give bans or other disciplinary actions?
I think for any faults, talking in private is the best. But if this issue is being done by many members, it may need to be addressed publicly in form of general reminder for everyone. Warnings or reminders can be given publicly if moderators don't single out certain member with the post, because it may feel like he/she is being 'attacked', thus getting mad, makes things worse, and eventually leaving the forum.
similar999
New Arrival
sometime people will feel no good of being reported, but I think most people won't... I think they can simply create another account and they can do anything with that.
Beverly said:
if your forum has got a warning system with points and all that, yeah... dont make it public, just let it be visible for mods and admins only,... oh and for the person him/herself that is..
yeah it happend a few times and i used to be very unprofessional... but i learned from that. now its just really simple; 1 or 2 warnings
if nothing changes.... temporary ban for 2 weeks or something.
yeah it happend a few times and i used to be very unprofessional... but i learned from that. now its just really simple; 1 or 2 warnings
if nothing changes.... temporary ban for 2 weeks or something.
I kept all warnings on my forum private because:
*The software i'm using doesn't support Showing warning points or notes to public
*Showing Warning points to public is humiliating, it destroys the enthusiasm of the member who is supporting for your forum.
Forum Warnings leads to Injured feelings, or anger which is the first reaction of a member as soon as he gets a warning point, some people just leave, and some commit dangerous actions (such as insulting staff, Sharing viruses, or illegal content on purpose...) and some reference making to that given points.
The better solution to avoid all of those is from both sides:
-Staff member, should be not as Harsh as the warning point itself, i don't mean you can't warn a member, i mean you can't give warning harshly.
*The software i'm using doesn't support Showing warning points or notes to public
*Showing Warning points to public is humiliating, it destroys the enthusiasm of the member who is supporting for your forum.
Forum Warnings leads to Injured feelings, or anger which is the first reaction of a member as soon as he gets a warning point, some people just leave, and some commit dangerous actions (such as insulting staff, Sharing viruses, or illegal content on purpose...) and some reference making to that given points.
The better solution to avoid all of those is from both sides:
-Staff member, should be not as Harsh as the warning point itself, i don't mean you can't warn a member, i mean you can't give warning harshly.
In my experience, I have found that actually having a decent and kind talk (in PM) with the 'offender' can accomplish more than issuing a warning that will only usually cause a foul mood.
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