Does having homosexual parents affect a child?

[pandaa]

So this is a spin-off of the homosexuality debate topic; more specifically, analyzing one specific aspect of the debate. Many believe that homosexual parents are unable to correctly raise a child. Many also believe that it doesn't have an impact on how the child is raised.

I'm interested in hearing both sides, here. Most importantly, SUPPORT ANY CLAIMS YOU MAKE WITH EVIDENCE. And of course, be respectful of others. We're here to calmly weigh both sides of this argument, not destroy each other. 🙂

I'll weigh in with my personal views later on in this topic.

 

[Nebulous]

" SUPPORT ANY CLAIMS YOU MAKE WITH EVIDENCE. "

A person's personal sexual preference has nothing to do with their ability to raise a child. Straight parents, bisexual parents, homosexual parents, etc can have the potential to be awesome and amazing parents and they also have the potential to become terrible and unfit parents. It depends on the person.

...Sorry no evidence to prove or disprove that, its an opinion. 😛

 

[ForumSource]

They are definitely not unfit to be parents because of their sexual preference but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that it would affect their child / children.

Most children are influenced heavily by their parents whether it be religious beliefs, how they treat others, etc., the majority of what you learn at an early age is from your parents. That being said, a child growing up with two homosexual parents is going to eventually see that it's different then the norm and that'll influence them. How it'll influence them? I don't know... maybe they'll be accepting, maybe they'll hate it, who knows, but it'll definitely affect them.

 

[Jerison]

I think that it will affect the child for one because its against the nature of human beings, and every child needs a dad figure as-well as a mother figure. I have 1 friend who has had his biological parents split and both turn bisexual. Now he is gay. I think that in the long run being bisexual or gay for that matter WILL rub off on the child and cause him or her to be gay also. They may be able to raise a child but mental effects are different. Have you ever hung out with a person that says a certain saying and you randomly start saying it without noticing? Yeah.

Evidence in this article:

"Most children who have at least one gay or lesbian parent were born within the context of a heterosexual relationship that either still exists or has dissolved, according to the report, "The Effects of Marriage, Civil Union, and Domestic Partnership Laws on the Health and Well-being of Children" by Pediatrics, the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Determining the direct effects of gay parenting is complicated because many children of gay parents are also affected by the separation of their biological parents."

 

[LunarScorpio]

Are homosexuals unable to “correctly” raise a child? No. Are there homosexuals who are unfit parents? Yes, but there are also heterosexuals who are not fit to raise children either. Where do I stand? It is my belief that if a parent raises a child in a loving, caring home, then they should be given the chance to do so as long as they are able despite their sexual orientation. But let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we? What does the research say?

First, I would like to touch on the article quoted above. What you quoted doesn’t support or give evidence to what you have originally stated. If you are going to quote an article, you should make sure it actually supports what you’re trying to get across and prove. Yes, “Most children who have 1 or 2 gay or lesbian parents were born in the context of a heterosexual relationship” (Pawelski, et al., 2006), this just shows that heterosexual relationships don’t last, not that homosexual couples are incapable of raising children. Statistics show “about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce” (Encyclopedia of Psychology, 2000), giving more proof that marriage, in general, does not always last. Furthermore, your friend is NOT gay because his parents “turned bisexual.” By your logic, your friend should have been bisexual, not gay because it “rubbed off.” Furthermore, if homosexuality is “against the nature of human beings” why does it exist? Again, using your logic, if a child is raised by a heterosexual couple, the child should be heterosexual, so homosexuality would have never existed. But back to the original debate, let’s take a look at some research.

In a study conducted by Paige Averett and Blace Nalavany (2009), it was found that there is no significant difference between heterosexual and homosexual parents, which is consistent with past research (p. 143). Furthermore, Averett and Nalavany report, in a study by Leung et al., it was “found that gay and lesbian adoptive parents fared better than heterosexual adoptive parents with older adoptive children” (p. 143), which supports the positive view of homosexuals being parents. These are only two studies; however, they support my viewpoint and there are plenty of more studies out there that have come to the same or similar conclusion.

I would like to bring attention back to the article originally quoted in this thread, which actually supports my viewpoint further. Pawelski et al. speak of a series of studies that investigate children’s emotional and social development when raised by homosexual parents. One study showed “Children born to and raised by lesbian couples seem to develop in ways that are indistinguishable from children raised by heterosexual parents” (Pawelski et al., 2006), which only goes to show that one may not know a person is raised by a gay or lesbian couple because there are no noticeable differences. Unless someone tells you their parents are homosexual or you meet their parents, it’s unlikely that you will know.

In terms of the negative aspects of homosexuals parenting children, it honestly comes down to the social aspects. People may pick on a child because their parents are homosexuals; however, a child may also be picked on for the color of their skin. For some deranged reason, humans like to judge people by the way they look, who raises them, what religion they follow, etc. and for that unfortunate reason, yes, a child raised by a homosexual couple or parent may be picked on. But bullying is another topic to be addressed on a different day, considering the many facets of it.

I would like to end with a quote by Gerald P. Mallon (2007) who stated, “Not all gay and lesbian people should be foster or adoptive parents. In the same way, not all nongay people would make suitable foster or adoptive parents” (p. 84), so you see, it does not matter what your sexual orientation is, there are those who are fit to be parents and those who are not.

References​

A focus on the home study process. Child Welfare, 86 (2), 67–86.

Averett, P., Nalavany, B., & Ryan, S. (2009). An Evaluation of Gay/Lesbian and Heterosexual Adoption. Adoption Quarterly, 12(3/4), 129-151. doi:10.1080/10926750903313278

Kazdin, A. E. (2000). Encyclopedia of psychology. Washington, D.C: American Psychological Association.

Mallon, G. (2007). Assessing lesbian and gay prospective foster and adoptive families:

Pawelski, J. G., Perrin, E. C., Foy, J. M., Allen, C. E., Crawford, J. E., Del Monte, M., . . . Kaufman, M. (2006, July 1). The Effects of Marriage, Civil Union, and Domestic Partnership Laws on the Health and Well-being of Children. Retrieved December 23, 2013, from http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/c ... 1/349.full

 

[Black Angel]

No.

What affects a child is whether or not they were raised with love and come from a loving, and stable environment.

A child needs someone to look up to.. a strong role model to bestow values, and teach them the importance of doing the right thing.. someone to pick them up when they are down, and encourage them. and that can come from anyone, regardless of gender and sexual orientation.

If the mother has seen more cock than a chicken farmer, and has a better chance of finding identical snowflakes, than finding the father of her own kid(s), then it would be pretty much a given that that kid is going to have some issues, not just because of the fact that the father is out of the picture, but also because the mother's own issues will fall on the child as well.

The mother might end up resenting the child because that kid means that they have to be responsible, and would have to think about someone other than themselves. The mother would likely end up taking their anger out on the child, rather than placing it where it belongs, and this is the type of thing that will affect the child.

This does not apply to sexual orientation in the least, unless, the gay parent has the same traits as the straight parent I mentioned earlier.

I am no expert and so, I can't offer proof, but I can offer personal experience.

My parents weren't gay, but I was raised by 2 women. My mother and my late great-grandmother. My mother was married to my father until he decided that running around and doing anything but being a responsible person would be better than being a father to his own kids. In a nutshell, my father was a rolling stone. (I doubt that most of you would get that reference, but it is from a really old song.)

My mother worked 2 jobs and put herself through college to take care of me and my brother, and she was also taking care of my great-grandmother as well. By the time my great-grandmother had gotten much older, and a diminished mental capacity, I was old enough to help out. I not only helped my mother to take care of her, but I also helped to take care of my brother as well. I walked him to school, helped him with his homework, and eventually, fought his bullies. I also fulfilled both the role of an older sister, and of an older brother (as best I could) as well. I would eventually be the one to take care of my great-grandmother until her death.

We were both bullied as well, and we both fought back. The reasons we were bullied had nothing to do with the fact that we were raised by 2 women, but it had a lot to do with the fact that we were smarter, and pretty much better than a lot of the other students in our classes. The teachers always had good things to say about us, and we won awards for our good grades and attendance. I've actually gotten an award from the state for my grades.

My mother eventually met, and married our stepfather, who has not only met the expectations of a father, but he has exceeded them as well.

My brother and I didn't want for anything growing up, and we were very well taken care of. By the time my mother met our stepfather, I was already 14, and had spent a significant part of my life without a father figure, and I was ok with that since I didn't feel as though I were missing out on anything. I realize that it is different for boys, and that is why I am grateful that our stepfather was able and willing to not only love our mother, but also, to take my brother through the important milestones that come up in a boy's life.

Every important milestone my brother and I have had has been shared with us and eventually our stepfather. Although I was 14, when he met my mother, and just about done with childhood, my stepfather has fulfilled roles as a father, that I didn't think I'd ever need, and I am actually honored by the fact that he has stepped up to the plate and been the kind of father that my brother and I needed, but never had.

Our father, on the other hand, has missed out on all of that, and he hasn't anyone to blame but himself. At this point, I am not even angry at him anymore, and I haven't been for a long time.. I just pity him. Since losing our grandmother in 2003, I have been keeping the promise I made to her where my father is concerned, and I have stepped up my efforts, after having lost my grandfather in February. After the death of my grandfather, my father really hasn't been the same, I am only trying to do what I feel is the right thing to do. I talk to him and check up on him from time to time, but I don't really have a relationship with him.

I remember what it was like when my father was around, and I would say that we had a much more loving and stable home with my mother and great-grandmother, than we would have had with my father.

That being said, I think the arguments against Gays where parenting are concerned are, to put it in Disney-approved terms, bogus. A kid would still be bullied even if his/her parents weren't gay.

I was targeted/bullied for the following:

• Being a girl (the only girl in quite a few of my classes.)
• Being smart (I was called a nerd.)
• Wearing glasses (I was called Urkel)
• Being a tomboy (I was called a dyke, but after getting into a fight, I was called a dude because they said I fight like one..)
• Being able to fight (I was previously thought to be weak, and when I got tired of being picked on, and fought back putting the guy in the emergency room, someone started the rumor that I was crazy..
• Being skinny (Some kids said that I look like I had AIDS..)
• Having no boobs or curves. (Girls would tease me and call me a boy, because I was a tomboy and I wasn't girly. Over that Summer, I would go into early puberty and come back with both boobs and curves.) I also had to give up sports because my gym teacher was concerned about how the boys would treat me. She suggested that I become a cheerleader since I was athletic.
• Having big boobs (girls thought they were fake and would "accidentally" spill water on me. They were mad because mine didn't shrink, and theirs did when I splashed them back.)
• Being shy and staying to myself (many thought this meant I was weak, and wouldn't fight back if picked on, and others thought that I was a narcissist and thought that I was better than everyone else.)
• Not wearing designer clothes. (Not due to a lack of money for them so much as a lack of interest in them.)
• Not being promiscuous. (I've heard more than my fair share of gay rumors back then.)
• Being born in Germany. (I've been called a Nazi more times than I've been called a Ni**er.)
• Being light-skinned. (I've always identified myself as Black, despite my Irish and NA heritage, but I have gotten a lot of crap from girls over my skin color, especially from the ones who thought I was full of myself.)
• Being considered pretty/attractive. (I've had people write me off because of my appearance and thought that I was just a pretty face and not much else. I've learned that people treat you differently when they think you are stupid.)
• Dating a White guy. (I've taken a lot of crap from both ignorant Blacks and Whites over this one. I won't even bother with expanding on this further as we'd be here all night..)

But yeah, these are some of the reasons that I've gotten crap while growing up, and none of them had to do with the gender of my parents.

 

[mayrain]

Not a problem at all.

 

[Geoffrey]

We were actually discussing this in my interpersonal communication class.

Harlow's rhesus monkeys experiment showed us that monkeys - who are the closest animal to humans - greatly prefer a parent that loving and "warm" opposed to one that just provides the basic needs. A father, two fathers, or two mothers can therefore be just as effective parents as a father-mother combo would be. The argument that same-sex couples and marriages ruins the concept of family is completely bogus as a result.

Of course, the same can be said about single parents of either sex or sexuality and can be flipped to say that just because a child has a pair of heterosexual parents, the child may not be best off if the parents aren't loving and providing for the child as they should.

 

[ANewLove021114]

Not to show any disrespect to other members of this forum but I have to disagree with the statement that homosexual parents will "rub off" on their child or children and cause one or more children to be gay. I have the firm belief that individuals cannot choose to be gay. No, I have no research to back any of this up, but I know at one point I did hear in the news that there is some connection to how a person's brain looks or something and that could tell a doctor whether the person was homosexual or not. That sounds like it will invalidate my comments completely because that study sounds like it's reaching pretty far. However, as a homosexual person myself I know that I did not choose to be gay. It was something that I discovered when I was in middle school and I fought myself over it for a very long time. I tried to convince myself I could still like girls and that I would never be fully gay but that is just not my choice. I was born this way. If my significant other and I choose to adopt a child in the future, I do not believe it will cause him or her to be gay. I do agree with other forum members' comments regarding the outside effects that this arrangement could have on the child though. I understand that this would mean that the child would have two dads instead of a mom and a dad, I also understand that this could create tension in the child's family because of other family members who do not accept my orientation, and I also understand there is a potential for my child to be bullied when other students find out that he/she has gay parents. In addition to these understandings, my hope is that society will continue to progress and see that homosexuality is not a choice and that future generations will continue to be even more accepting of the situation than the current generation is now.

 

[The Governor]

I have the firm belief that individuals cannot choose to be gay. No, I have no research to back any of this up, but I know at one point I did hear in the news that there is some connection to how a person's brain looks or something and that could tell a doctor whether the person was homosexual or not.

I don't care what you hear in the news, a person's homosexuality cannot be detected by third parties unless they tell others about their sexuality or if it's pretty obvious. (With some gay people, it's pretty obvious) Without any proof or evidence, all you're going off is what you hear on the news. Your sexuality is your choice. No one is born with a predefined sexual preference.

However, as a homosexual person myself I know that I did not choose to be gay.

There was probably something in your childhood that happened that led to it. You cannot be born with a sexual preference. It's not possible. As we grow up, our sexual preferences are influenced by a variety of things. Who we hang out, what gender we're around the most, has the person been hurt too many times by a specific gender.

I didn't choose my race. You didn't choose yours. That is an example of something we are born with that is completely out of our hands. As little kids, we know nothing about sexuality. Sure, we may find a girl/boy cute, but that's it. It has nothing to do with their gender, but their looks.

It was something that I discovered when I was in middle school and I fought myself over it for a very long time. I tried to convince myself I could still like girls and that I would never be fully gay but that is just not my choice.

That sounds more like personal denial then "I didn't choose this."

In addition to these understandings, my hope is that society will continue to progress and see that homosexuality is not a choice and that future generations will continue to be even more accepting of the situation than the current generation is now.

It is a choice. It's always a choice. I grew up with a girl who was as straight as could be. She dated guys over and over, and was attracted to the male gender. However, she was abused a lot by them, and thus, switched to dating girls in hopes of not having anymore abusive relationships. She and her partner are happily married, and she never once regrets dating a girl.

It's a choice. It always has been and always will be. We are not born with predefine mental features. We're born with predefine physical features and maybe some mental/emotional traits from our parents. Our sexuality, our way of thinking, our personality, is not, and never will be, predefined. We are molded during our childhood. If we have abusive parents, we're molded into abusers ourselves. If we have racist parents, we're molded into racists.

Racism is not predefined. Sexual preference is not predefined. It is taught.

 

[Atrox]

I honestly don't think that it affects anything at all, it's a choice on what gender you like; I believe. 🙂

 

[Forces of Steel]

I think it has more to do with gender roles. What if your parents are both male and female, but one of them happened to be bisexual? Likewise, a mother-to-son or father-to-daughter relationship is perfectly capable of being platonic. I don't think sexuality really says much about how a child is influenced.