Giving people too many chances?

[Kale]

Do you guys give people a ton of chances to change their behavior or ways? For example somebody is posting spam, trolling, or something. What do you all do or would do?

I only give 2-3 strikes, and then you are out. I do not believe everybody is willing or able to change, and as forum owners and moderators it's best to accept that. I cannot stand giving people more than a few chances who keep saying they are leaving, and want their account deleted. If they keep at it, then their account is gone.

 

[MrDawn]

I believe people give many chances due to forums not getting a lot of members and activity. It is no surprised that trolls and human spammers will take advantage of that knowing there's less of a chance they will get banned. And even if you the owner lets things slide all of the time and do not take your rules seriously, the members won't either.

 

[Deleted member 49125]

Do you guys give people a ton of chances to change their behavior or ways? For example somebody is posting spam, trolling, or something. What do you all do or would do?

I only give 2-3 strikes, and then you are out. I do not believe everybody is willing or able to change, and as forum owners and moderators it's best to accept that. I cannot stand giving people more than a few chances who keep saying they are leaving, and want their account deleted. If they keep at it, then their account is gone.

I do it on a case by case basis. If it's somebody I already know & it's odd behavior, I give them a bit more leniency as we all have off days. However, if they publicly berated another, I will talk to them privately to give them a chance to cool down. If they come back on after their "cool down period" & still have an attitude, then I have banned them. I'm of the mindset there's no excuse for abuse. You can have an off day, be grumpy, but NOBODY has a right to abuse another.
For members that I don't know, I see how they act on other forums. More times than not, if they are spammers on one, they are spammers on others. I do like to try to understand their reasoning but at the same time, they cannot be disruptive to the rest of the forum.

I believe people give many chances due to forums not getting a lot of members and activity. It is no surprised that trolls and human spammers will take advantage of that knowing there's less of a chance they will get banned. And even if you the owner lets things slide all of the time and do not take your rules seriously, the members won't either.

I have to agree with you on this. We are more lax when it comes to members. Plus we want to give people a fair chance.

 

[Kale]

I believe people give many chances due to forums not getting a lot of members and activity. It is no surprised that trolls and human spammers will take advantage of that knowing there's less of a chance they will get banned. And even if you the owner lets things slide all of the time and do not take your rules seriously, the members won't either.

If this were way back when forums were a bigger deal, you'd have been booted from most of them almost right away if not placed on a mod queue. But yeah, it could be why so many forum owners and moderators tolerate people who act out, spam, troll, etc. I just have been around communities where that was not tolerated very well usually. I also had been in the 'was given a ton of chances' on one forum years ago. I also was younger then and felt it funny to be a troll. After I got older and got my first job part-time thanks to HS I had no time or energy anymore.

 

[Ravenfreak]

I'd give the person a chance, sometimes people have off days. If they continuously break the forum rules, I will place them on a suspension and hope they will have a clearer mind when they return.

 

[Kale]

I get people have bad days. I think if they are constantly doing it every day or so then it becomes an issue. For example if someone did act normal and was a regular member, then one day just started insulting users or staff...then yeah.. I'd for sure PM them about that and see what is up. If they become hostile toward me, then a cool down ban for a day maybe needed.

 

[MrDawn]

I get people have bad days. I think if they are constantly doing it every day or so then it becomes an issue. For example if someone did act normal and was a regular member, then one day just started insulting users or staff...then yeah.. I'd for sure PM them about that and see what is up. If they become hostile toward me, then a cool down ban for a day maybe needed.

I believe there's a huge difference between giving someone a chance and being used as a door matt. Some forum owners are unable to see the difference.

 

[Kale]

I believe there's a huge difference between giving someone a chance and being used as a door matt. Some forum owners are unable to see the difference.

Yep, sadly. Some owners and mods just choose to be door mats and it is sad.

 

[Reverie]

I'm not a big believer in giving many chances.

3 small things - 4 small things = banned, possibly temporary ban if it really was silly small things. If they come back and do whatever again it's a permaban.
2-3 big things - likely a forever ban.

I'm one who wants to give the community a bit of space, but I do not tolerate people being trolls/spammy/being rude to people with no actual reason. I feel like now a days there just aren't as many trolls anymore. People are purposeful that want to be on forums. Most of the trolls grew up, and the younger generation isn't joining forums.

 

[Black Angel]

3 strikes and you're out. Regardless of severity or seniority.* And if you do something that puts my site at risk or that I have to clean up, then you are gone immediately.

I am generally laid back and chill as an admin, but that doesn't mean that I am a push over. I actually expect more from the members that have been there longer because they have been there longer, they know the rules, and what is or isn't allowed and so, they should know better.

Too many chances and you look weak, to few chances and you look like a dictator.. but if hypothetically, one of my longtime members is acting out, and apologizes for their behavior and explains themselves and changes their attitude, then I might be more lenient where the duration of their punishment is concerned.

 

[futurerich50]

Do you guys give people a ton of chances to change their behavior or ways? For example somebody is posting spam, trolling, or something. What do you all do or would do?

I only give 2-3 strikes, and then you are out. I do not believe everybody is willing or able to change, and as forum owners and moderators it's best to accept that. I cannot stand giving people more than a few chances who keep saying they are leaving, and want their account deleted. If they keep at it, then their account is gone.

From a general standpoint, it is important to balance accountability with empathy. While it is good to give people the opportunity to improve and learn from their mistakes, it is also important to set boundaries and hold them accountable for their actions.

Ultimately, the decision of how many chances to offer will depend on the situation and the individuals involved. It is always a good idea to assess the situation objectively and take appropriate measures accordingly.

 

[Nomad]

I do not give too many chances to the rule breakers. For major offenses like trolling, spamming, I do not even give a second chance.