It's him or me!
- Thread starter Katrina
- Start date
I would see exactly why a person wants me to ban another member. I actually just dealt with this not to long ago on RPG haven. Without going into details, there was someone who joined my forum who I thought was fine. Then another person joined and shown me screenshots and shared a link to another forum where the member was harassing others and threatening the admin in private messages. I don't want someone who goes around threatening admins, especially in the way he did. I know words may not always mean something, but the guy seemed unhinged and I didn't want him causing issues on my forum.
leangreen76
Up-and-Coming Sensation
Completley agree with zappa.
I had a similar situation many many years ago. It wasn't about another member but was the classic "If you don't do so and so I'll leave the site", and I stood my ground. I took the "if you want to walk, then then walk, but it'll be on you, not me" No site owner should be black-mailed into doing something by a member or they'll quit/leave etc. I'd rather thave loyal members that are willing to abide b the rules set in place.
That's not to say a member can't challenge or question those rules, of course they can - but in a respectful manner; not threatening this or that. Discussion is a two-way party being resonable and engaging, not making threats and being disruptive.
I had a similar situation many many years ago. It wasn't about another member but was the classic "If you don't do so and so I'll leave the site", and I stood my ground. I took the "if you want to walk, then then walk, but it'll be on you, not me" No site owner should be black-mailed into doing something by a member or they'll quit/leave etc. I'd rather thave loyal members that are willing to abide b the rules set in place.
That's not to say a member can't challenge or question those rules, of course they can - but in a respectful manner; not threatening this or that. Discussion is a two-way party being resonable and engaging, not making threats and being disruptive.
Depends on the circumstances. If there's no proof the user is a problem, then I'm not going to immediately jump on the banwagon. But if there's receipts, then that's a different conversation. I don't want to just ban someone because someone else says I should, especially if there's no reason for me to do so other than someone else threatening to leave over it.
There must be strong reasons/evidence to ban someone, not just by a member requesting it.
Each case is unique and should be studied under the admin's discretion.
Just aim to do what's right without taking sides, even if it cost you a member(aka a friend) or two, or 1000. Doing what's right should be first.
And if the requesting entitled member is your friend/partner, he/she should understand your position/decision over his/her feelings against another member.
Each case is unique and should be studied under the admin's discretion.
Just aim to do what's right without taking sides, even if it cost you a member(aka a friend) or two, or 1000. Doing what's right should be first.
And if the requesting entitled member is your friend/partner, he/she should understand your position/decision over his/her feelings against another member.
KyngzIndeyen
Up-and-Coming Sensation
I wouldn't ban that member, assuming they haven't done anything ban-worthy.
It'd set a very unwanted precedent. If a somebody can get one member banned by threatening to leave, then they'll do it again, and again, and again - until they've got rid of everybody they don't like.
(Of course, it may be that that member's done something that should have been ban-worthy, but that they didn't get banned for - and the member who said "It's him or me" is protesting against the admin's poor running of the forum. But at that point, I think the forum itself has bigger problems!)
It'd set a very unwanted precedent. If a somebody can get one member banned by threatening to leave, then they'll do it again, and again, and again - until they've got rid of everybody they don't like.
(Of course, it may be that that member's done something that should have been ban-worthy, but that they didn't get banned for - and the member who said "It's him or me" is protesting against the admin's poor running of the forum. But at that point, I think the forum itself has bigger problems!)
It sucks to be in that position. As an admin you want to be fair. I'd definitely wouldn't ban a person without reason but I also want to know why am I even being requested that.
If the person doing the request has a good reputation then things can get murky when there's no other evidence besides what both members say in private messages to our staff and openly on the forums.
I don't want to dismiss the newcomer and jump the gun just because they are new. Sadly, sometimes a good standing member can take a long time before doing a flip and showing their true colours, so just because it hasn't happened before doesn't mean the requester is not doing it out of pettiness.
But also I don't want to let someone come and poison the well behind my back and make the requester feel to that extreme where it has to be one or the other.
I guess it's something handled case by case. I can't help but think that for each ultimatum like that, there's a quite a few members that already left quietly. That makes me sad.
If the person doing the request has a good reputation then things can get murky when there's no other evidence besides what both members say in private messages to our staff and openly on the forums.
I don't want to dismiss the newcomer and jump the gun just because they are new. Sadly, sometimes a good standing member can take a long time before doing a flip and showing their true colours, so just because it hasn't happened before doesn't mean the requester is not doing it out of pettiness.
But also I don't want to let someone come and poison the well behind my back and make the requester feel to that extreme where it has to be one or the other.
I guess it's something handled case by case. I can't help but think that for each ultimatum like that, there's a quite a few members that already left quietly. That makes me sad.
Exactly. I always try to take things on a case by case basis.
I would ask them if they wanted me to delete their account.
I don't like those kinds of threats. So, I'll usually tell them it's best to leave. If they take it further and threaten to do something to the person if I don't take care of it, then I'll gladly ban them.
Those people are drama and we need to stomp drama as quick as we can!
As simple as that. Banning another member of my forum on the instructions of a forum member when the person hasn't done anything to warrant such is wrong.
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