LOL some funny jokes here

[JamesD31]

Here are some of mine that I know.

Q: What's the difference between a Nazi and a gay guy?
A: 45 degrees

A blonde, brunette and a red head are going to be executed.
Right when they were about to be executed the red head goes, "Hey I have a plan, follow me."
So than the officer says, "Ready, Set, ..." red head says "Hurricane!"
So all the guards turned and the red head ran away.
Now it was the brunette's turn.
Again the officer says, "Ready, Set, ..." the brunette shouts "Tornado!"
So all the guards turn to look and the brunette runs away.
Finally it is the blonde girl's turn.
The officer says, "Ready, Set, ..." the blonde says "Fire!"
So the guards all took aim and shot.

(that one was kind of hard to explain in text lol)

I'll post more as I go to keep this thread alive with laughter!

 

[JamesD31]

Here is some more =D:

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell."

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

Q. What’s worse than getting raped by jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Cook.

Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.

Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children

How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
Shine a torch into her ear...

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.

Every person has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.

 

[Damien]

There quite good jokes 🙂

 

[Carson]

~lol~ These are pretty good.

 

[taja609]

LOOL! Those are really cool...good job!

 

[JedoChristo]

Very nice jokes!!! :lol:

 

[packmule]

Q: How do you stop a charging lion?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
A: To make up for a rotten summer.

 

[Carson]

Q: How do you stop a charging lion?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
A: To make up for a rotten summer.

I'm laughing at how terrible those jokes were. ~lol~

 

[swift]

The blonde, redhead and brunette was a funny joke 🙂.

 

[movieplanets]

LOL :lol: u cracked me up

 

[Oono]

Haha great jokes. 😀

 

[Kino]

Here are some of mine that I know.

Q: What's the difference between a Nazi and a gay guy?
A: 45 degrees

A blonde, brunette and a red head are going to be executed.
Right when they were about to be executed the red head goes, "Hey I have a plan, follow me."
So than the officer says, "Ready, Set, ..." red head says "Hurricane!"
So all the guards turned and the red head ran away.
Now it was the brunette's turn.
Again the officer says, "Ready, Set, ..." the brunette shouts "Tornado!"
So all the guards turn to look and the brunette runs away.
Finally it is the blonde girl's turn.
The officer says, "Ready, Set, ..." the blonde says "Fire!"
So the guards all took aim and shot.

(that one was kind of hard to explain in text lol)

I'll post more as I go to keep this thread alive with laughter!

The blonde joke is funny!

 

[ClovieMonster]

haha

 

[LinkinParkFan71]

those where funny, do you have anymore?

 

[XcapeX]

Yeah...nice ones, need more!