More User Drama

[Agent_Zero]

I know, I have a new forum that is just now a month old and I have had so much trouble with user drama.

I really need to know what rules other sites have that clearly spell out what is acceptable disagreements and what is something that could be potentially bad for the site and the users.

Is calling someone a "fuckwit" and "idiot" something that mods need to delete and break up? There are some things that are clearly inappropriate like direct threats or posting personal information like phone numbers.

What do you consider harassment? I offer an ignore feature and I offer for users to message me directly if they don't think that is enough. No one seems to want to do that and when someone does it causes an outburst of calling that person a crybaby when I do a force ignore so both members are on mutual ignore lists. If they do not message me I assume they are not having a problem.

 

[Kaynil]

You have to decide and then keep with it. Either you want to be flexible or you don't, either way you have to lay out what are your expectations and the possible consequences. It is best you go with something you feel good embracing and enforcing rather than leave the choice to others.

You need to be consistent too. If you help some and ignore other people that will only confuse things and will make you look like you are favouring some people or are easily manipulated.

For me it is all in the intention, and I treat each case on its own. If they are okay calling each other a few names I am fine (so long the community is not for kids) if not I remove/edit their posts and ask by PM to refrain from posting like that on the boards and continue via PM or elsewhere. They know I am chill enough but also know that I expect them to respect each other so if it is not longer a joke then they better drop it.

 

[John]

You have to decide if you want your board to be civil. Attacks against other members is anything but civil. Strong language is something that can be dealt with either way. Some boards opposite it, while others don't. Again, I would remove language like that against other members, as well as personal attacks against other members.

 

[Migi]

Like what Kaynil and PoH said, what about your standards? What have you set for your forum? Stick with it and act accordingly. We can talk and compare our standards, but at the end of the day your actions at your forum is justified by the rules you have set for it.

For me, publicly calling other members with strong words like "idiot" (in a serious and bashing tone, not in joke) is not something I tolerate. Same goes for posting personal information publicly without the consent of related party. That is rude.

I also don't think you must always wait to be contacted. It is your forum, you have to "protect" it by actively looking around and making sure everything works properly and members are happy. If there's anything wrong, you need to act on it based on the rules of the forum.

 

[Agent_Zero]

I'm still shaping the site. When I first set up the software I just knew I wanted to try to run a site, mostly for friends of mine from other forums. I didn't even know what the general purpose was other than "general chat"

Things seem to be going well but it's also very challenging. After a post this morning that blatantly bashed someone for being transgender in their introduction thread I have to definitely spell out clear rules regarding hate speech. I can not even imagine how that poster must have felt. Intro threads are auto posted when users join also so it was as if they were thrown out to be beaten. I'm so upset with the members of my site right now.

 

[Migi]

Things seem to be going well but it's also very challenging. After a post this morning that blatantly bashed someone for being transgender in their introduction thread I have to definitely spell out clear rules regarding hate speech. I can not even imagine how that poster must have felt. Intro threads are auto posted when users join also so it was as if they were thrown out to be beaten. I'm so upset with the members of my site right now.

That is understandable. Objectively speaking, even though you have the most strict rules in the world, you cannot exactly restrict someone from making an offensive post, and hurting someone else in the process. But you can give a disciplinary action as the compensation. So it's a good lesson to put rules related to the case in effect starting now to avoid more victims.

If necessary, you can even address the issue with a topic at news/announcement board for every member to see.

 

[Forces of Steel]

That's always a pretty rocky territory to cross, especially if a staff member is doing that. We've been pretty patient with some of the actual sh*tstorms, but it's gotten to a point where we'll no longer tolerate such behavior on a forum that generally has a high-quality community.