Parental Favoritism?

[MrDawn]

Do you think it's abusive to a child for a parent to favor one child over another? Why or why not?

 

[Katrina]

I think abusive might be too harsh a word but it's definitely emotionally damaging to children for parents to have an obvious favorite. My husband knew his sisters were the favorites and even one was more favored than the other. It made him really sad.

I have one child...she's my absolute favorite 😀

 

[Joshua Farrell]

I think most parents will admit to having atleast 1 favorite child. If they admit to it, it usually will be for specific reasons. Example being, my oldest sister used to be my parent's favorite, as she volunteered to always help out with everything (up to a point, where she started showing abusive behavior); then along came me, and the cat came out of the bag, and I was publicly listed as my parent's favorite.

 

[Deleted member 7467]

It’s fine if you’re the favorite.

 

[Jason76]

Some children might not be favorites in the "true sense of the word". For instance, someone with a disability might get more attention and that could be mistaken for favoritism.

 

[sprite1950]

It's certainly not right but sometimes it's easier to love one child over the other. I had two children, a son who made my life difficult for most of his life and a daughter who was a really easy child to raise. It's difficult not have have a favourite but I will say this. The minute I think something has happened to my son, and he has put himself in danger many times, I am in a terrible state of anxiety. I fret and worry until I know he is safe so even though he drives me crazy at times I know that deep down I love him.

If I had to give a straight answer to your question I would say I love them both but in different ways.

 

[Setfragil]

It is not good to favours one child above the other child or children, it affects them psychologically and emotionally. The flavoured child might be hated or disliked by the other child for being neglected or not wanted like brother or sister. Even if we do love one child above the other we should not let it show in our attitudes towards the children as it build up bad blood among children.

 

[MrDawn]

I think abusive might be too harsh a word but it's definitely emotionally damaging to children for parents to have an obvious favorite. My husband knew his sisters were the favorites and even one was more favored than the other. It made him really sad.

I can empathize. My feelings always take a back seat to my brother's when it comes to our mother. I have grown very tired of listening to her praise him all of the time. She doesn't do that for me or my sister. Because of it I don't have much to say to her and I have expressed in the past in not wanting to come over to family get togethers because he and I are enemies after everything that's happened between us.

 

[overcast]

I think the biggest problem is when parents raise child only for their old age.
Because child does not understand he or she is being used for final outcome.
That's prison.