Perception

[Nebulous]

Perception is a very powerful thing, it can be very difficult to figure out what people are really trying to say when reading what they typed.

Example, if you have negative feelings / bitterness towards someone..
Does your perception make you think that everything they say is a personal attack on yourself?

Another example, do you react to posts based on what you THINK they the other person is trying to say? Or do you try to ask questions and get more information before reacting?

 

[Fergal]

When communicating with someone it helps to try and put yourself in their shoes and see things from their point of view. It's easy to jump to conclusions and think someone is saying something they're not. Always better to take a little time to consider where someone is coming from first.

The older I get the more I try to say nothing, when I've nothing good to say. But it's not always easy.

 

[Cloverfield]

I will usually try and see it from their point of view before replying. That way I can make a reply that won't be taken the wrong way or in the wrong context.

 

[Nebulous]

It's easy to jump to conclusions and think someone is saying something they're not.

I agree, too easy. Some people's responses to other people's statements are off the wall a lot of times. I often sit here reading posts on different forums thinking to myself "How could they have gotten that from that?!?!"

Some people take everything everything says personal, that gets really old fast. Its not like everyone on the internet is focusing on that one person and trying to subtly attack them. I think people like that have some self esteem issues.

Personally, I always try to remain objective and respond to the topic at hand. Unless my name is actually mentioned in the post or the person is talking directly to me, I must assume the other person is making an "in general" statement. Taking everything personally starting a fight over a misunderstanding is childish and would make me look really foolish. If I assumed the other person was talking about me or if their post was meant to be offensive, I would ask questions and get more information and clarity on the statement made.

 

[Nathan]

Some people take everything everything says personal, that gets really old fast. Its not like everyone on the internet is focusing on that one person and trying to subtly attack them. I think people like that have some self esteem issues.

Very true, then when the staff confront them, they get abused :roll:

 

[Nebulous]

Some people take everything everything says personal, that gets really old fast. Its not like everyone on the internet is focusing on that one person and trying to subtly attack them. I think people like that have some self esteem issues.

Very true, then when the staff confront them, they get abused :roll:

Yeah those sorts of people love to play the victim and claim abuse, when in fact people were just having and open discussion and not referring to them at all. Their sense of perception is so screwed up and self esteem is so out of whack, that will not allow themselves to see that they were actually the one at fault by creating an issue/conflict out of thin air and shouldn't have bothered replying with their dramatic nonsense in the 1st place.

 

[Nathan]

You don't know how spot on your are theezy, +rep added :great:

 

[wednesday]

If you honestly feel that way about someone then why feed the fire?
If that where me...i would let them get on with it...instead of making the matter worse by continuing the obvious communication problem.
Anyway...i agree...some people have a really whacked sense of morals and ethics.

 

[Nathan]

If you honestly feel that way about someone then why feed the fire?
If that where me...i would let them get on with it...instead of making the matter worse by continuing the obvious communication problem.
Anyway...i agree...some people have a really whacked sense of morals and ethics.

Well technically no-one is "feeding the fire", they've made the topic for open discussion but the person who takes everything as a pesonal attack does so, thus leaving the other person looking like the "bad guy" which is really not the case at all. People need to think that not every topic that a person who they have a problem with is directed at them as a personal attack :roll:

 

[Nathan]

If you see users do this on your forum the best possible approach you could do is PM them and ask them to tone it down, insisting that if they keep taking every thread as a personal attack then they will probably ease it down. If they don't either chuck them on moderation queue or give them a warnings/a few days to cool off (ban.)

 

[Fergal]

I've deleted some posts from this topic. Please keep it on topic and there is no need to bring member names into it.

If you feel you have been personally offended on the forum please send me a PM or Report the relevant post.

Thanks!

 

[Nebulous]

If you see users do this on your forum the best possible approach you could do is PM them and ask them to tone it down, insisting that if they keep taking every thread as a personal attack then they will probably ease it down. If they don't either chuck them on moderation queue or give them a warnings/a few days to cool off (ban.)

Ive tried that before, it works for some but if thats how the personal naturally is.. Nothing will change their behavior. If it gets out of control, a perma ban might be needed.
Some people live their entire life thinking everyone else is out to get them. 😕