activeboards
Reputable
http://www.qsl.net/w5www/pcterms.html
* ACTIVE DESKTOP: Caused from leavin food on yer puter desk.
* BACKUP: What ya do when ya done run'd over a skunk in the woods.
* BAR CODE: Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.
* BIT: A wager, as in, "I bit you cain't spit that there watermelon seed across the porch over yonder longways."
* BOARD: What ya git when ya aint bizzy.
* BROWSER: What ya do when a purty gal walks by ya in the general store.
* BUG: The reason ya gave fer callin in sick.
* BYTE: What yer pitbull dun to cusin Jethro.
* BYTE: Also the first word in a kiss-off phrase.
* CACHE: Needed when ya run out of food stamps.
* CHIP: Pasture muffins that ya try not to step in.
* CHIPSET: Two piles of dung, usually cowpatties, sittin side by side.
* COLD BOOT: How yer boots are in winter when ya first put em on.
* COMPUTER TERMINAL: Time to call the undertaker.
* CPU: When ya look down and see a cow pattie.
* CRASH: When ya go to Bubba's party uninvited.
* CURSOR: What some guys do when they're mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
* DIGITAL: The art of counting on yer fingers.
* DISKETTE: A female Disco dancer.
* DOS: Redneck shorthand for: "Dont' own Squat"
* DOT MATRIX: One of them kinky people in them X rated movies yer wife hid from ya.
* DOUBLE CLICK: When the dang gun don't far when ya pull the trigger.
* ENTER: Northern for "Y'all C'mon in!"
* FAX: What ya lie about to the IRS, an yer wife.
* FLOPPY: When ya run out of Polygrip.
* HACKER: Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
* HARD BOOT: When ya wake up on the floor with a boot under yer ribs after chug testin grandad's latest batch for smoothness.
* HARD DRIVE: Tryin to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
* HOME PAGE: A map ya keep in yer back pocket just in case ya git lost out in the field.
* INTERNET: Where cafeteria workers keep their hair.
* KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the keys to the John Deere.
* LAN: To borrow as in, "Hey Jim Bob! LAN me yore truck."
* LAP TOP: Where the little kids & the cat feel comfy.
* LASER: Someone less ambitious than you.
* LINE IN: Whatcha do when you go fishin'
* LOG ON: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
* MAC: Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
* MAIN FRAME: The part of the roof that holds the house up.
* MEGABYTES: A day of good fishin'
* MEGAHERTZ: How yer head feels after 17 beers.
* MICRO CHIP: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
* MODEM: What ya do when the grass gits too high.
* MOTHERBOARD: What Mama gets when she ain't got a boyfriend.
* MOUSE: Fuzzy, soft thang ya stuff in yer beer bottle in order ta git a free case.
* NETWORK: Scoop'n up a big fish afore it breaks the line.
* NEWSGROUP: When the wives git together an gossip at the Widder Hawkins' place.
* OFFLINE: When the clothes pins let go an the laundry falls on the ground.
* ONLINE: Where ya stay when takin the sobriety test.
* PROMPT: What you wish the mail were.
* RAM: What ya drive if ya aint a Ford or Chevy man.
* RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't 'member what ya paid fer the rifle.
* REBOOT: What ya do when the first pair gits covered with barnyard stuff.
* ROM: Delicious when ya mix it with coca cola.
* SCREEN: Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.
* SCREEN SAVER: Repair kit fer the torn winder screen. It's also the paint ya put on your screen door when it begins to rust.
* SERIAL PORT: A red wine ya drank with yer breakfast.
* SPREAD SHEET: What Momma puts on the bed for a new boy friend.
* SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's Employee of the year.
* SCSI: What ya call your week-old underwear.
* WARM BOOT: What ya wear on yer feet when it gits cold.
* WINDOW: Place in the truck to hang yer guns.
* WINDOW: Also what ya roll down when Jim Bob cuts a big un in the truck.
Ten Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer
* 10. The monitor is up on blocks.
* 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
* 8. The four front keys have rotted out.
* 7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.
* 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
* 5. The password is "bubba".
* 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the side of the monitor.
* 3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
* 2. The keyboard is painted in camouflage.
* AND the number one way to tell if a Redneck has been working on a computer is......
* 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".
* ACTIVE DESKTOP: Caused from leavin food on yer puter desk.
* BACKUP: What ya do when ya done run'd over a skunk in the woods.
* BAR CODE: Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.
* BIT: A wager, as in, "I bit you cain't spit that there watermelon seed across the porch over yonder longways."
* BOARD: What ya git when ya aint bizzy.
* BROWSER: What ya do when a purty gal walks by ya in the general store.
* BUG: The reason ya gave fer callin in sick.
* BYTE: What yer pitbull dun to cusin Jethro.
* BYTE: Also the first word in a kiss-off phrase.
* CACHE: Needed when ya run out of food stamps.
* CHIP: Pasture muffins that ya try not to step in.
* CHIPSET: Two piles of dung, usually cowpatties, sittin side by side.
* COLD BOOT: How yer boots are in winter when ya first put em on.
* COMPUTER TERMINAL: Time to call the undertaker.
* CPU: When ya look down and see a cow pattie.
* CRASH: When ya go to Bubba's party uninvited.
* CURSOR: What some guys do when they're mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
* DIGITAL: The art of counting on yer fingers.
* DISKETTE: A female Disco dancer.
* DOS: Redneck shorthand for: "Dont' own Squat"
* DOT MATRIX: One of them kinky people in them X rated movies yer wife hid from ya.
* DOUBLE CLICK: When the dang gun don't far when ya pull the trigger.
* ENTER: Northern for "Y'all C'mon in!"
* FAX: What ya lie about to the IRS, an yer wife.
* FLOPPY: When ya run out of Polygrip.
* HACKER: Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
* HARD BOOT: When ya wake up on the floor with a boot under yer ribs after chug testin grandad's latest batch for smoothness.
* HARD DRIVE: Tryin to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
* HOME PAGE: A map ya keep in yer back pocket just in case ya git lost out in the field.
* INTERNET: Where cafeteria workers keep their hair.
* KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the keys to the John Deere.
* LAN: To borrow as in, "Hey Jim Bob! LAN me yore truck."
* LAP TOP: Where the little kids & the cat feel comfy.
* LASER: Someone less ambitious than you.
* LINE IN: Whatcha do when you go fishin'
* LOG ON: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
* MAC: Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
* MAIN FRAME: The part of the roof that holds the house up.
* MEGABYTES: A day of good fishin'
* MEGAHERTZ: How yer head feels after 17 beers.
* MICRO CHIP: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
* MODEM: What ya do when the grass gits too high.
* MOTHERBOARD: What Mama gets when she ain't got a boyfriend.
* MOUSE: Fuzzy, soft thang ya stuff in yer beer bottle in order ta git a free case.
* NETWORK: Scoop'n up a big fish afore it breaks the line.
* NEWSGROUP: When the wives git together an gossip at the Widder Hawkins' place.
* OFFLINE: When the clothes pins let go an the laundry falls on the ground.
* ONLINE: Where ya stay when takin the sobriety test.
* PROMPT: What you wish the mail were.
* RAM: What ya drive if ya aint a Ford or Chevy man.
* RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't 'member what ya paid fer the rifle.
* REBOOT: What ya do when the first pair gits covered with barnyard stuff.
* ROM: Delicious when ya mix it with coca cola.
* SCREEN: Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.
* SCREEN SAVER: Repair kit fer the torn winder screen. It's also the paint ya put on your screen door when it begins to rust.
* SERIAL PORT: A red wine ya drank with yer breakfast.
* SPREAD SHEET: What Momma puts on the bed for a new boy friend.
* SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's Employee of the year.
* SCSI: What ya call your week-old underwear.
* WARM BOOT: What ya wear on yer feet when it gits cold.
* WINDOW: Place in the truck to hang yer guns.
* WINDOW: Also what ya roll down when Jim Bob cuts a big un in the truck.
Ten Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer
* 10. The monitor is up on blocks.
* 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
* 8. The four front keys have rotted out.
* 7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.
* 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
* 5. The password is "bubba".
* 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the side of the monitor.
* 3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
* 2. The keyboard is painted in camouflage.
* AND the number one way to tell if a Redneck has been working on a computer is......
* 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".
