Something I wrote for english class please read and comment

Nelson Noa

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Walk two grounds – Bridge to the sea
Who am I?
The wind gusting slightly an inch of hair, new thoughts held high putting forward a sea of ideas. A thread hanging and dancing to the beat of the wind dangled almost loose from my earlobes. Each foot speedily propelled my body, a bridge stood high, its mouth open wide; the almighty beast took me in. I stopped stationary – my eyes gazed, a sea swallowed me in. I’ve walked two grounds, that of my mind that of reality to create a bridge to the sea, a bridge of ideas! Inspiration comes unexpected, often or not I’ve got a circle of friends who wait for me-in the same room- with the same mood, a pencil, an eraser, and a white sheet of paper. On surface like most young adults I attend school, I go to the movies, and I often hear music and play sports. On second ground I’m much different; my mind is a complicated structure designed with colors and moving images that my friend pencil helps reflect on my other friend paper.
I’m rather nervous, it’s easily reflected on my reaction to treat others, I’ve got some friends in this ground but only a few selection of them I actually talk to in a daily basis, it really throws me off that many others of my same age spend time with their friends after school, I’m usually alone in the depth of my own soul.
Nevertheless, in my second ground my character is determined, not hesitated by others, his a nice guy just waiting to open up not only on paper but this second time to others, his wanting to open to more friends and likewise go out after schools with friends and not stay behind.
Who am I, is who has walked two grounds.


By nelson noa (me)
 
Re: Something I wrote for english class please read and comm

Well Nelson, I'm not a professional and even if I was this is just my opinion. I think your work shows that you certainly have talent. To be honest though, I would have to say that this particular piece needs some polishing. That is, as I say, just one person's opinion. Keep going!! 🙂
 
Re: Something I wrote for english class please read and comm

Thanks so much it means a lot.
 
Re: Something I wrote for english class please read and comm

Mr.Alpha said:
Thanks so much it means a lot.

I'm glad you appreciate my opinion. Just remember to follow your heart, if you're happy with it then it's great!! And don't forget, Jack London suffered through 100's of rejection slips before he became world famous and very rich! A story repeated with many now famous author's.
 
Re: Something I wrote for english class please read and comm

Is this a poem or short fiction?
 
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