The Office Quotes

[agentmanningctu]

Post your favorite Office quotes!

"Hey Toby, no one likes you. Why don't you just leave!"

 

[Justin M]

"Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information." - Michael. Almost anything by him actually.

 

[agentmanningctu]

^Love that one.

"Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks."
-Michael

 

[Deleted member 7467]

Jim Halpert: Does that include 'that's what she said'?
Michael Scott: Mmhh, yes.
Jim Halpert: Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling.
Michael Scott: Mmmm... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

🙂

 

[agentmanningctu]

Michael: "I am going....to go get laid!"
Dwight: "Yeah! With sex!"

 

[Hobbies230]

"I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter that makes stairs." - Andy

By far one of my favorite quotes.

LOVE this show to DEATH.

 

[agentmanningctu]

I love Andy.

"I hit a few thousand balls last night, so my hands are a little tender. haha. Actually, it's not funny. It's very painful."

 

[Hobbies230]

Indeed, Andy has some great one-liners. Another:

"They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really? Then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates."

 

[agentmanningctu]

"I drove into the sand trap!"

 

[Kino]

" I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog." - Dwight

 

[Hobbies230]

"It's like I used to tell my wife - I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong, and if you don't like it you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I'll say it to my next one too. "

Oh, Stanley.

 

[agentmanningctu]

Dwight to Holly (about Kevin) "He's here on a special work program. He's slow, you know, in his head."

 

[Hobbies230]

"Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me."

Love Oscar. One of my favorite minor characters.

 

[agentmanningctu]

From last Thursday.

"Hey, does anyone know how to get out of here? Aaah."

Kevin couldn't get out of the maze. :lol:

 

[Hobbies230]

That was like the only good part of the episode. This season is so terrible.

"One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway...I wonder who he ran over then."

Classic Jim.

 

[agentmanningctu]

I love this season.

"Let's go back to where the digression started."

"'And you were directly under her the entire time?' Mr. Scott 'That's what she said.'"

"Delivery's all wrong...you're butchering it."

 

[Kino]

Yeah I disagree with whoever said this season is terrible. It's pretty funny so far this season.

 

[agentmanningctu]

"My fiance Stacy's daughter is here. I think she'll have a good time. I just hope she doesn't go on my computer...I better go check."

 

[Kino]

Dwight: Try "Big Boobs" with a "Z".
Jim: That's-- [ding] the password. We're in.

 

[agentmanningctu]

"Click start, and up comes the toolbar. That's what she said."