THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute
intervals.
3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.
4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.
5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.
10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!"
11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!"
13. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and
down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"
14. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best
John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun
noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several
bullets to the chest.
15. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a
nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)
16. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"
17. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute
intervals.
3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.
4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.
5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.
10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!"
11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!"
13. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and
down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"
14. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best
John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun
noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several
bullets to the chest.
15. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a
nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)
16. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"
17. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"
