Troublemakers Who Are Your Friends

[Forces of Steel]

Let's say you have a friend who's generally quite nice, but he can be quite intimidating on your forum. Based on your rules, he's risking getting himself banned. On the other hand, since he's your friend, there comes the fine line on choosing between personal feelings and doing your job. I know that I've been through this situation, and trust me, it's very difficult to continue putting up with troublesome people who are otherwise friendly to you.

If you ban that member, they accuse you of being unfair, but if you let them continue to run amok, the rest of your community will call you out as biased. I believe in giving many chances, but if that member is being rude on your forum, then you have to lay down the law.

I had to permanently ban a few members who were being disruptive over the years, and despite the fact that most of them are still friends of mine, I had to do what was right for my forum. They've accepted their bans, despite continued communication.

It's a weird situation to be in.

 

[Sharon]

It's a tough situation but if they are truly your friend you should feel OK with approaching with them about it. This is your forum and in sense it's kind of your home so if they are in your home and making people feel uncomfortable you have every right to call them out on their behavior. They either back off and fix their attitude or leave. It wouldn't be fair to other members who follow the rules to have to deal with someone who isn't following them.

 

[Teg]

It's definitely a tough situation. That said, as an admin of your own forum, you need to remember that you are the Administrator. Simply, just because someone is your friend, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do your job to ensure your community is running smoothly. If your "friend" is causing issues on your forum and breaking important rules, start taking things away a little at a time to show your community that you are "dealing" with the user's behavior and not playing into bias. Make sure you talk to the friend and let them know their behavior is not acceptable and if it continues you won't have any other choice but to make harsher consequences such as banning the person. Then, if they don't listen to your warnings, follow through with the punishment. It's your community and if you want it to succeed, you cannot play favorites and you have to run it right regardless if you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings.

 

[Page]

I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with that. I have online friends and definitely know what they are like and can do, the kind of people they are definitely not make silly things to get them selves banned.

 

[Allenafaith]

It's hard, but I think I'd have to give him a warning/ban if I talked to him about it multiple times and he STILL didn't stop. I want my members to feel safe and happy on my forum.