Try to answer the following...

Damien

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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
 
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?We DON'T know that....

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? You need air to glue something, lol. And air can't go into the bottle.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? You need to make the needle dirty then?!

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because he shaves.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? We came from Adam and Eve.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Lol i do this every day....


In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? It's TOO hot in summer.
 
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Well I know I don't.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

You can't exactly check that there actually is, so taking your word for it is easy to do, however with wet paint, you can find out pretty fast.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

It's kept in a moist and sealed environment, on the exterior it's exposed to the oxygen and dry surfaces.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Admittedly ironic and stupid but for safety procedures.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Then it would be "Lip" and everyone has a "lip", well two actually but I suppose replacing it with another letting may work, if another would fit and sound right.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

We evolved from, we didn't descend from Apes, it's about Natural Selection and survival of the fittest.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

They're living to start with, and simply crawl into a variety of places, as most things are completely sealed, they're are small gaps that they can get through, however they're not intelligent enough to memorize a path out and get stuck and then die.

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"


Common courtesy and being polite, simples *meerkat squeak*

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

This is the most simple one to deduce, if we kept windows open in winter, and let the heat escape, we would get to cold for our organs to function correctly. Same with heat in summer but vise versa, we'd loose all of the water in our bodies and have no reserves to keep cool and perform homeostasis to keep cool. This is common sense really.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

I have quite a few special friends :lol:
 
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
-By pressing harder, it ensures that the button is making contact with whatever it needs to touch to get results. (that is just a guess)

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
-More money for them

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
-No one cares about the stars, but when it comes to wet paint and human nature, you naturally don't want to trust them.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
It's kept a liquid in the bottle, but once it comes into contact with air, it starts to harden.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
The last courtesy to the one on Death Row.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
How do you know he doesn't if he's factitious?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
The revolver has kryptonite in it?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
-No clue

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
-Someone with an obvious dark sense of humor.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
-This question defeats the entire theory of evolution. 🙂

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
-No clue

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
-No, because mattress salesman knowingly price mattresses higher than their sell value, than put them "on sale" to what their really worth.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
They're hoping they missed something, or someone went to the store?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
It provides endless entertainment.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
Plastic bag companies like to make us mad. They secretly have cameras on the bags and watch as we get aggravated. 😛

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They start out on the part of the ceiling that is directly above the enclosed light fixture, than find an opening into the light. We can't see how they do, but they have easy access. To their surprise, they find it's the last thing they ever do.

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
They said they are sorry, why escalate trouble when they didn't mean to?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Your to busy worrying about what's falling that your not being careful about everything else up there.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
You don't want to get cold.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Father-in-laws don't do anything to get jokes about. They usually stand in the background and act like nothing is going on.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
-I am usually that one. 🙂
 
Non are right, as there is no right answer to any of them 😉

Add more to them if you wish 🙂
 
Damien said:
Non are right, as there is no right answer to any of them 😉

Add more to them if you wish 🙂
If there is no right answer then consequently, there is no wrong answer 😉

Anyway, some do have answers:

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Do we/since when?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Force people into bankruptcy, but they know that you probably own a house, so they will repossess that and thus putting you into more and more debt.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Do we/since when?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
It's a moist environment as there is negligible oxygen.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
A company ships them off in a pack. They don't know the end use; they just make them all sterilized and distributes them. It's impossible for them to determine the exact use, thus for safety, they make them all sterilized.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Jane shaves it off. 😉

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
I wouldn't like to get hit in the head with a revolver 😛

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
People just think of the end result. What if they don't reach their end target. They have to turn back and thus for safety, require a helmet.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Someone is 1620's.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Natural selection; we "could" have been a separate species. Religiously, we came from Adam and Eve.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Do they? The molecule structure doesn't allow color to be a dominant feature of the bubble.

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Yeah, yesterday. 🙂

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Boredom.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Because we can.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
Really? I must be some divine God then 🙂

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They started off as alive and entered the light bulb through screw gaps, wire gaps and can also eat through the ply board.

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

If it was an accident, then I wouldn't mind.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Again, I must be some divine God that doesn't have this issue. 🙂

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
We can't retain the heat for Winter.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
They have been missing out on a lot of fun.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Nope, it's not me.
 
If people learn from their mistakes... why do couples have more then one child?
 
Damien said:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
While watching T.V , logic leaves us. And we don`t keep these kind of things in mind because we are too engrossed in the show..

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
To own the remaining things we have.Our homes,even our lives :lol:

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

We can`t count the stars but can touch paint. Simple.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

When the glue is in the bottle, it is in a liquid state and doesn't dry because it is not exposed to air. Glue only sticks to stuff when it is dry.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Using sterilized needles has become a habit.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

In order to stop himself from suffering from any complex, he shaves it regularly 😛

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

He has his preferences 😛

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

To look cool :yes:

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Not mine..

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

They didn`t.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Hmm.. no!

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Hoping that someone secretly put something in !!

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

After placing their magic spell on the string by touching it they want the vacuum to suck it so that their magic wont spread and hence they don`t lose it

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

Because of the lack of needed force.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

The living ones were already there before you killed them using a spray .

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"


We aren't referring to the condition of the leg.We say it to let the other person know that it was an accident so no harsh feelings.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Not necessarily.But you might get hurt in the process.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

We wan`t hot when it`s cold and cold when it`s hot to adapt to the environment.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
They are Too simple and ordinary.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Good things it`s just three!
 
Nice ones! I really like the one about bugs getting stuck in light fixtures, some of the fixtures don't seem to have a tiny hole to get in. 😱
 
Hotspot said:
Nice ones! I really like the one about bugs getting stuck in light fixtures, some of the fixtures don't seem to have a tiny hole to get in. 😱

This topic is 2 years old you grave digger. And what an embarrassing reply from me up there. :S
 
i love these kinds of things

what makes it so funny is that people do these without realizing they are doing it,
and it takes someone who can look at things from a different angle to bring it to light
 
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