Just getting a few opinions here, as this is my life's real situation. I'm not asking for what to do, I'm asking as to if which side of the story is morally correct. I guess you could view either as correct, but in this situation, if this personal really cared, they would do the right thing.
SO, I am a junior and my girlfriend is a senior. We have been dating for over 8 months now and known each other for over a year and a half. We previously dated for three months a long while ago (within the year and a half) and broke up and then started dating over 8 months ago, again.
Prom isn't for a while (April-ish), but the subject is already going around. My girlfriend sent me a text, "I have good news and bad news."
Good news: We're going to the winter dance.
Bad news: She's going to prom with another guy in her grade.
Reason: It's an all senior group.
Still. It's an all senior group, but I am a junior who she has had a life-to-life relationship with (meaning that we know literally EVERYTHING about each other and get along oh so well), but she is going to prom with him. I raged to her about it and we got over it for a bit. That was a week ago.
Last night she texts me what we are going to prom together. I was so happy about it and told her how happy it made me.
An hour ago she tells me she's going to prom with Another guy because he's a senior and again, they are all going to prom in an all senior group. (Different guy than last time)
I was like "Why would you do this to me." and "Why would you do this?". She claims cause I don't get along with the senior guys, although I told her I DO (and I do mostly), since it's basketball season, we all talk and get along.
She also claims "It's not a big deal" and stuff like that.
I kept repeating "Why would you do this to me" and "How could you do this" and that stuff.
She's threatening for me to drop it, or otherwise it sounds like it could get bad.
If she doesn't go with me, I probably am going to break up with her, though this is besides the point.
What I am really asking is:
Do you think it is a legit enough reason for her to go with seniors and not me? Or go with me, her boyfriend, of 8 months, who we have a heart-to-heart relationship with?
Wow, that's pretty hard-core stuff. I don't even know her an am wondering why she would do that 😱
Honestly, if it were my girlfriend and prom was coming up, I would just go ahead and get us tickets and give them to her romantically. The fact that she made the decision to go with someone else rather than her boyfriend is honestly a bit troubling. If it were me, I would get to the bottom of it because it smells sort of fishy 😉
I wouldn't let her treat you like crap if I were you. Not a good idea to do anything rash but I mean hey you're her boyfriend and she wants to spend prom with another guy? Doesn't seem right
Yes prom is the least of all places for her to go with another guy, don't let it happen. But if you get to harsh she could dump you. So you are stuck in a bit of a situation.
Do what you think you should do, it doesn't sound right, but don't seem too much of a jerk about it or she will just forget about you and that guy will be her boyfriend. I'd think of something to do soon, and then just try what you think of out. Your kind of in a situation that is kind of hard for us to help you. Good luck.
I'm going to be fairly honest: it seems like you have a fairly immature relationship. Anyone who keeps repeating desperate pleas via text messaging probably isn't showing much logic to his girlfriend, and it doesn't seem like you've sat down and had a non-dramatic, civil conversation about this.
I'm not necessarily pointing the finger at you, as from listening to your story, it seems like a lot of this behavior is coming from her end. Regardless, you may want to work out things like this at the same time.
I have to agree with Ascent. She doesn't seem all that concerned about your feelings in all this. She tells you she's going with someone else, then you then someone else again? Sorry but I think she's just yanking your chain. Especially when you ask about it and she tells you, more or less, to drop it or else. (That's not the sign of someone who actually cares...)
Though I think Carson has a good point too... If you tried to convince her via any method other than a face to face chat it definitely comes off insincere, uncommitted or lazy.
Now, it's been a few years since I was in school, but the Prom wasn't a senior only thing. All grades could get in. (Well... where I went to school all grades could get in.) So rather it sounds to me like she doesn't want to go to prom and be seen dating a younger person. She sounds embarrassed to be honest. Like she thinks that if she shows up to prom with you, her friends would make fun of her. (Worst part is, they probably would too. But what does that say about her and your relationship with her if she's willing to be shallow like her friends? )
Don't take this the wrong way, but given the facts that you've only been dating for a total of 11 months (3, then a break then 8) and you both are in school (from the sounds of I'd guess high school rather than university or college, but I could be wrong) but I don't really think that you know everything about each other. Especially given how quick she is to go "I'm going with someone else".
Essentially, my advice is to dump her, the sooner the better too (and don't get back with her again later, it's not worth the headache). She sounds like a real "prize". You could do better for certain. But I do want to caution you right now, if you do dump her now, she could be one of those types to spread rumours or basically use what you shared with her against you. (Especially if her friends find out you dumped her and not the other way around.) So just be prepared for that.
Carson: Yeah I would agree it is not a mature relationship. We talked over the phone about it, but not necessarily civil.
VirusZero: It is highschool. And she isn't the type to spread rumors.
I talked to an okay friend about it, because his girlfriend was doing the same thing, except that she told him they were going together for the longest time, but then tells him that she is going with another senior. I told him I might break up with her, and he told his girlfriend. His girlfriend is friends with mine, and she told her TODAY, AFTER (from what I hear) she had made up her mind on going with another guy
She's trying to act nice now as well.
But from what she says, she got really mad at me because "of the way you handled it". What the hell else was I suppose to be? Happy? If I did that to her, no doubt she would rage at me as well and shun me for a while or something.
Maybe try telling her that you are going out to see a movie with another girl your age. See how she reacts. In other words, pull the same crap she did on you.
Then again, it might not be the best idea... Think about it HEAVILY before you try it.
But in all seriousness she doesn't sound like the type of person you want to be with, you just don't know it. As VirusZero said, she's just yanking your chain and is seeing how strong your chain is (ie: How long you will hang on to your relationship).
But honestly this is your life and you decisions don't let what we say change your mind or anything. It's just my thoughts.
Yes I know that about letting your words changing my decisions. I just want to see that what happened isn't just me overreacting, but actually really stupid.
Unsure if this really helps, but she retweeted a Notebook quote, "Fights determine how strong a relationship really is" or something like that.
Yea that's kind of true. But at the same time if you guys always make it through the fights and she still throws you aside for some other guy at a future dance, what does THAT say about the relationship?
She kinda sounds like she's just saying this to.... wait she uses twitter? That's weird... I thought it was "nerdy" to use twitter in highschool..
A strong relationship isn't determined by the fights the two in it has. It's determined by two people's commitment to each other. (If you're fighting then that's a good sign something has gone wrong.)
By the logic I have just outlined, she is not committed to you. If she were committed to you, she wouldn't be telling you that she's going with someone else to the prom.
You could try the same stunt to her she pulled on you... but then you would just be sinking to her level. Be better than that. Take the high ground.
To be honest I'm not too sure why it matters, unless you don't trust her to not go cheat on you with this other guy, you're a junior and it's a senior prom. By the sounds of things this is just trust issues....?
